Sep 30, 2009. Glad we happened.

"I am glad we happened regardless of everything."

Dear diary,

I hope baby will forgive me one day. Bj called me to play basketball today. I told him I didn't wanna play. He kept on insisting. I guess he wants to help me get through this phase. He says I should do what I always used to do, play basketball, go to the gym and other stuff. I guess in a way he is right.

I told him I don even have shoes to play basketball wit and he goes he will buy me a sneaker right now. I couldn't say no. So I went. I didn't wanna see bhai tho. He didn't show up. I guess he found out that I was there n decided not to come.

Bj told me that baby told bhai that her parents would have never accepted me in the end any way and that she didn't see a point in us being together because of that.

I wanna stay at work the whole day. I don't wanna come home. Every day when its time to go home, I get really scared. That's when everything comes down crashing on me. I just wish that I would never get off work. Weekends are even worse. I can't stop thinking about her.

Everyone says that I should move on now. But they don't know what we had. They don't know what we've been through. They don't know the kind of connection we had. They don't know us. If they could only get a glimpse of what we shared they would not say "move on".

God........ show me the way. Just tell me what to do..... tell me everything will be fine one day. Fine=baby+baby.

Goodnight
Baby